My son is in a faith-based day camp this summer. He’s absolutely loving it. They have daily field trips to swim in local lakes, hike, and even visit the local college’s campus. They have a fantastic balance of quiet inside time, outside time, and games, “they have a board game with SOCCER!” he told me after his first day. “Foosball?” “YEAH!”
The counselors- amazing! Every time I drop him off, we are greeted by name, and energetic teens and young adults with smiles bright blue camp shirts whisk him away for a day of fun and worship.
And he’s also had more candy in the last 2 weeks than he had the previous year. Where did he get this? Camp.
Having a child with special needs (special needs and the church is another… hard… post for another time), and moving fairly often we have done a lot of church hopping, trying to find the right place that works for our family. I have been in and out of faith-based activities- church, Christian schools, faith-based camps, bible studies, ministries, and so on since I was a teen, and the last decade that I have had children, the children have been involved too.
We have been involved in quite a few secular activities too, from disability services to public schools to community sports.
What I’m getting at is, I’m seeing a pattern from being exposed to many many many churches, religious organizations, secular organizations, and public and private schools. This is not an isolated incident.
And that pattern is that the vast majority of uncomfortable situations I’m in regarding food are at church and faith-based events.
And quietly talking with other moms with young children, it’s not just me seeing this pattern.
No, it’s not at all faith-based programs. We have a church locally that I love that also has fruit and vegetables at their fellowship table, and the nursery workers carefully mark on a child’s name tag if they are allowed snacks or not. Older children sit in service with their parents, so obviously will only have what the parents supervise.
But— no joke, the hair dressers always ask me before offering my children a lollipop. The public school sends out an email to let me know when there will be a class party, and I can reply back to let the teacher know that my child needs to stick with fruit, or can have one treat, or whatever is acceptable to our family at that time. The children’s museum camp gives requests that parents send all food- they’re not giving out jelly beans and soda to kindergartners or having a ‘candy store’.
The disability programs (also, like church, these programs rely mostly on under-paid and volunteer workers) assure parents that dietary wishes will be honored. The gym daycare doesn’t give out any food unless parents give written permission.
It’s church and faith-based activities. That’s where 99% of the junk food that my children recieve is from.
Before you shout back with offence, ‘Persecution!’ “You are bitter!” “You are entitled!” “You are making an idol out of food” Please hear me out.
I’m not persecuting because I respectfully am bringing up an issue that I have seen over and over again. And it’s not just me, there are many other mom friends that I know that will avoid churches that we otherwise like, or activities like Awanas because of ‘the food issue‘ as we call it.
Yes, I am using strong statements, but it’s only because I have seen concerns just like this be ignored, brushed off, and belittled time and time again.
Allow me to explain further.
It’s not every day that YOU are giving my children candy, but if they are involved in 2-3 activities, they are getting candy every day from someone.
Donuts at church on Sunday, candy as a snack at day camp Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, Awanas Tuesday evenings, and treats at the nursery while mom as bible study Thursday morning. Not to mention, I might like to bake a cake or cookies with my own children, but I can’t do that because they have already received more sugar and empty calories than I feel is healthy for them.
Do you see how this adds up? Some people are comfortable with their children having one or two pieces of candy every day, and that is FINE.
Those who want to limit it to a special occasion because their children’s health are affected by it struggle with it being so much a part of the church culture.
No, it’s not always an ‘allergy’. There are lots of (very good!) allergy precautions in many churches now. But junk food is more than an covered-in-hives need-an-EpiPen issue.
Read: Want to Treat my Children? Here are 12 Non-Food Treat Ideas that Won’t Harm Their Health
Yes, I do need to teach my own children our health values
And I’m teaching them that there are some things that are sold in grocery stores that cause cancer, are addictive, and are contributing to the rise in childhood-onset type II diabetes, obesity, and lifelong chronic health problems for everyone. I’m even teaching them that different families have different priorities, and it’s important not to act like we are doing anything better than anyone else.
This gets a little confusing for everyone involved when the people I am teaching my children to respect, look up to, and learn from are handing out candy and sugary treats right and left.
Moms aren’t speaking up
“Well, I don’t see why you can’t just bring up your concerns.” It’s because we have, and when we do, we get accused of not trusting God with our health, we get told that the church doesn’t want to imply that you have to eat healthy to be a Christian. I’ve heard the same thing when friends have tried to hold a book study talking about The Maker’s Diet – you can talk about healthy choices in church, it’ll be okay.
We get told that we are entitled to expect volunteers or under-paid teachers to change.
About the entitlement- I’m not expecting, I’m asking.
Or we are informed that we should better parent our children so they say ‘no thank you’ or accept the treat graciously and then bring it to their parents rather than eat it. This may work with some very compliant children, but most of our kids are normal children who also are going to want the sugary junk food if it’s being served to their age group. Plus, have you seen a preschooler who can’t have a cookie when everyone else in their class is having one? Sadness. We don’t want to bring our children to church only to have them feel alienated… church should be a time of feeling accepted.
So, no, you may not hear about this issue, but I do. And I’m speaking up.
No, it’s not a salvation issue
I know. Neither is drinking or smoking but I don’t see most churches handing out cigarettes or beer in their College and Career group.
I am trusting God with my health. I’m trusting that God gave me a solid amount of common sense and the ability to choose what is right for my children to consume.
Do you trust God with your health? Why do you get yearly physicals? Bring your children to well baby appointments? Seek medical care when they are ill or injured? Being proactive or making changes to our life to help our families be healthy does not mean that we don’t trust God with our health.
I’m not judging you
Zero percent judgement here. I really am passionate about helping the people who want to change their eating habits, but if that’s not something you are called to do at the moment, there is not any judgement from me. If you feel judgement, that is coming from somewhere OTHER than me. I promise, I am not. I am just doing things differently from you. And that’s okay.
On a similar topic, I’m not doing this for attention. Or to be different. Or because I’m bored. My children can’t handle junk food. It would be easier for me to go with the flow and let them eat it, but for whatever reason they can’t.
It’s not 1988 any more
We know better now. We know that candy and junk food isn’t just empty calories that get burned off when kids run around. We know that sugar is addicting, that the pattern of eating junk food daily sets our children up for lifelong habits that will be harder for them to break.
The church does not need to be the last place to change over.
I’m not asking for anything that costs anything.
Our children will be okay during a 45-minute Sunday School lesson or even during a 2-hour service without snacks.
I’m not asking for you to feed my children – that’s my job.
I’m just asking that the church and faith-based organizations PLEASE stop handing my children junk food.
Love is enough.
Comments will be moderated. Please feel free to disagree with me.
Bullying, off topic arguments, criticisms that do not provide anything constructive, or parenting advice from people who have never met my children will not be published.
Based on feedback from this article, you also are finding similar problems with soccer snacks. Click here for healthy soccer snack ideas (and reasons to opt out of gatorade).
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Yes! Yes! Yes!
This is so well articulated that I will be sharing it.
Thank you for putting clear words to my long time frustration!
Thanks Sara. Hopefully it will change soon :)
Cara, you have just begun to scratch the surface about a wide spread problem with our churches and the food that is being served at fellowship gatherings of all types. There is an amazing book by an amazing christian man, Joel Salatin. His book (his 12th I believe) is titled “The Marvelous Pigness of the Pigs”. He wrote this one for his christian brothers and sisters. I can’t speak highly enough about the content. I think you will find it addresses exactly what you are writing about.
I loved seeing more of my christian brothers and sisters feeling the same way as I have for a long time.
God Bless !
I haven’t heard of that (but did do The Maker’s Diet forever ago!) thanks for sharing Patti!
My youngest is now 16, so we’ve outgrown this issue, but for YEARS it was a major one. Yes, it could be handled, and worked around, and avoided, and my kid were great about politely taking an offered treat and trading with me for an acceptable one, but I got SO tired of everyone trying to feed my kids! VBS was the worst. Our church does these over-the-top VBS themes where even the snacks are on-theme. When the other kids have these food-coloring-filled treats that look more like toys, a graham cracker just isn’t going to cut it. I spent years in the kitchen during VBS (when I would much have preferred crafts) so that I could make safe versions of every insane snack, and make sure my kids only got their own. Kids are not going to starve in a couple hours, and if they are that malnourished, they need real food, not junk.
Yes, years of work arounds… it gets tiring. Thanks for sharing your experience.
My children have food allergies so I run out VBS snacks every year. The kids don’t always like having water instead of lemonade but I stick to my guns & the VBS director always comes around. It is easier to clean up & saves us $50+ in expenses. Our snacks are food allergy friendly and I do include one good sugary day at the end but a lot of our snacks are popcorn, carrots, apple slices. I can’t imagine 250 Kids with sugar & food dye!!
Same here. We have major food allergies. We can’t have a lot of the junk food that is passed out, but I also HATE it. I hate when they pass out even safe candy for my kids. I do not want them hopped up on sugar, and I have definitely seen the candy trend at church!
Yes!!! Food allergy mom (with food allergies myself) I get frustrated at the junk allowed not to mention the times we are not included because we have food allergies that are airborne- therefore we cannot just say “no thank you” sometimes. Faith<Food in many churches and it needs to be the opposite! Ps- I run the awana store and we do have candy- VERY overpriced and limit is one piece but I check with parents first. But it was requested ??♀️ so I keep it in a very well hidden place…
Teachers/leaders feel that way too! I stopped handing snacks out in my preschool class (at church) because of unhealthy snacks and so many allergies. This is a major pet peeve.
I am a Children’s Director and I hear you! We offer snacks during VBS because we have kids coming from our community that did not get breakfast. They are with us for almost 4 hours. We do basic snacks (goldfish, graham crackers, animal crackers) to provide something, but not cost an arm and a leg. We only serve water.
I provide applesauce, yogurt and rice krispie treats/granola bars for breakfast on Sunday mornings (only in the summer). We do deal with gluten free, diabetes, and other allergies. I guess we could not provide food to those that did not get anything at home, but then you have the problem of singling them put and others asking anyway. Food is a comfort, an ice breaker, a motivator. What do you suggest??
Also – you know our motto – when 2 or more are gathered, there is food!
Personally, I think that all is just fine- I’d just ask that you not hand it to my children. Perhaps make it available after or before service when the children are with their parents and their parents can more closely monitor it? I’d prefer large pots of oatmeal to rice crispy treats to provide nutrition frugally- but I also understand that not everyone is going to want that.
And yes, food is a comfort, an ice breaker, a motivator but using it for all those is teaching our children unhealthy habits. We can provide comfort, conversation, and motivation without junk food.
Thank you!!!
I could not agree with you more! We are so blessed to attend a church that doesn’t offer snacks on Sunday mornings in classes.
I have clearly stated that my boys don’t tolerate gluten, dairy, and food coloring at funtions like VBS and after school activities. Sadly, I struggle the most with their elementary school…But I’m so disappointed when the response I get is, “Then what do you feed them!?!?!?”
Thank you for addressing not only the health implications, but also, the fact that using food as anything but fuel isn’t healthy either!
Grapes in Dixie cups work out great. Not expensive, not too messy, and it’s amazing how many kids who ask for food will actually turn down fruit. Therfore, not a lot needs to be purchased.
Be careful with grapes, though, as they can be a choking hazard. We were warned about that when our now-grown daughter was small.
I soooo appreciate this post! My 5 year-old has type 1 diabetes (formerly known as juvenile diabetes). I am a pastor and church is by far the hardest place for us to navigate his dietary needs. No one means any harm, but we need to find other ways to communicate love to our children than treats. Thank you for this post.
I would ask, however, that you consider revising your comment about childhood diabetes. Type one is an autoimmune disorder. Nothing you eat will cause it. My son is and always has been a very lean and active child. We limited junk his whole life. His immune system turned on his pancreas for no discernible reason. Type 2 diabetes can be caused by diet, but it largely affects adults. Those of us with type one children are sometimes accused of ‘causing’ our children’s situation because of how we cared for them prior to diagnosis. This is a misconception. If you have the time and wouldn’t mind for the sake of clarity, please consider removing childhood diabetes from your list.
Thanks again for this important article!
Right- just changed it. I apologize, I did intend to say type II (honestly I thought about it when I was posting it and I couldn’t remember whether II or NIDDM was the current correct term so I left both off)
That’s also really alarming that anyone would blame you for ‘causing’ type I, that’s really awful! I’m sorry that happens to you :( That’s right up there with thinking that parenting causes autism.
This is such a huge issue for me! I also feel like as a society we act shocked that children are obese but then hand them 4 treats in a 45 minute church class. I have talked to leaders and they say that they cannot control the children without the food. It makes me worry what kind of message we send kids. For my children it is allergies so I used to try and make a treat at home for anything they missed out on. It wasn’t possible to keep up. I hate that my little guy always has to feel left out when attending church. There just isn’t any reason to have so much food.
I agree it seems like church activities are often food centric and volunteers who do VBS and Sunday school will reward and ply behavior with sweets. I do hope when you mention childhood diabetes that you are open to learning that Type One diabetes, once known as juvenile or childhood diabetes is an autoimmune disease not caused by diet or obesity. There is no cure and they are insulin dependent for life. Unfortunately there is a rise in type 2 diabetes in kids that is a result of poor diet and exercise, often in families predisposed thru heredity. Those of us who worry whether their child will wake each morning are highly sensitized to the stereotype attached to diabetes so consider that in your future blogs.
Hi Rebecca, that’s right – I’ll go change it in the post. It’s the type 2 in young children that is alarmingly on the rise.
This blog of yours appeared in my Type 1 diabetes group. Your mention of diabetes pertains to type 2 diabetes. As a parent of a type 1 diabetic, I struggle with the same things you do with the food at church. My church can’t do anything without having a cake. I call it the cake church. I help with our fellowship coffee after church and try to put out grapes and celery sticks and pickles for those that want healthier choices. I envision the children coming out of Sunday school to come to get cookies. They’re not satisfied with ONE cookie, they take SIX and the parents let them. Maybe these kids don’t get it at home so they look forward to getting it at church. Our church has a meal two times a week for our youth for jr. and sr. high school. It’s a quick meal and isn’t expensive. Lots of pasta, pizza, burgers, hotdogs and tacos. My son’s blood sugar is always crazy after that meal. He needs to count his carbs and there is no way he can do it, so it’s a guessing game. I wish the food fests were less. It’s sad to have to think you need to stay home to avoid the donuts and cakes. That’s not what church is all about. I’m curious what your pastor and elders have to say about your concerns. Not everyone has the willpower to bypass the goodies.
I fixed it, I apologize, thank you for your comment :)
As for my pastor/elders- we go to a church that I feel is great about it. There are veggies and fruit out, and the kids sit in service with us, and lots of the community stuff is potlucks so I can just choose from what I want the kids to have.
The reason this came up again was from the day camp my son is attending this summer while I work- I had forgot about ‘the food issue’ with faith-based stuff, and signed him up for the whole summer, it caught me off guard. There has been some rationalizing when I spoke to the director, but they also said they would further limit how much candy the kids get. I persisted after he tried to explain to me that it ‘wasn’t straight candy, it was half jelly beans and half cereal’
Otherwise this is a really good program, and I was encouraged by the email exchange even though it’s still not ideal, it’s better than it could be.
There were two things that resonated with me as I read this:
1. The point you made early on that even the hairdresser asks before giving your child food yet the church staff does not
2. The reaction of your church staff to your concern
We have also visited many churches after leaving our church of 3 years. During that time I observed many of the same patterns. After attending our current church for about 6 months I really started to notice the junk food trend. After telling my kids they were to kindly refuse, and it working for a few weeks, the youngest had a moment of weakness and came out with a frosted cookie. I then realized that the staff needed to be on the same page with me and encourage my kids to honor our wishes and not even OFFER the food to my kids. So I pulled a teacher aside and shared that I did not want my children having candy/sweets/cookies or RED JUICE. I told her many of the same points you shared -treats are OURS to give, I want her incentive to participate/obey to NOT be motivated by food, etc.
THE VERY NEXT WEEK she had animal crackers and low-sugar apple juice. SHE WAS TRYING!! She heard my concern, validated it, and created another option. (I wasn’t too worried about her having a snack at church since we normally have a mid-morning snack at home). I share this to encourage you that there are moms speaking up and seeing positive results. Keep praying over your church body, seeking God’s wisdom and grace as they navigate their own apparent struggles, and realize that how you handle the situation speaks greatly to your kids. I’m sure you are a shining example to them already, but I got an in-your-face reminder of just how much they watch/listen as we navigated this.
As a former youth leader (before kids) that has had the pizza parties and candy stand during youth group/outreaches I thank the woman that commented on her Type 1 son. I think the other issue to consider is how we are promoting gluttony. NOT trying to be legalistic here but we all like to try to indulge to excess is SOMETHING sometimes and the church should be the last place to find such temptations so accessible, right? We are all so imperfect, and yet so perfectly loved! I’m SO grateful!! And thank you for such a great article.
Comments about not trusting God to those that aim to eat healthy seem a bit backwards: Eating the foods God created IS trusting Him; eating man mixed, overly processed, chemical and dye laden lab projects is not trusting God.
I agree! This is one of the reasons we don’t attend a church service regularly right now.
Even with pre-teens and teens at a homeschool gathering, there has to be a snack all the time. Why can’t everyone bring their own, if their child needs something every 45 minutes?
Ehhhh. Christ called us to do something. If youre that passionate take up some volunteering and change the way your church does things.
And to the commenter that stated that this is one of the main reasons that keeps you from church. Let’s be real, this is not something thay should keep you from worship. Stop using excuses.
I believe when Christ calls me to do something, he will call me directly. Not through a rude comment on a blog. You don’t know my life situation, and you don’t know my readers’ either.
Ehhhh. I have volunteered hundreds of hours over the last five years trying to set an example and stir change. I bake healthy snacks for the after school program. The kids love them, the parents love them. But despite offering to help others come up with healthier snacks and trying to be a catalyst for change, what happened is that others stopped volunteering knowing that I would do it. And if I don’t do it, I had to cut back for a while, it reverts right back to junk. It’s exhausting. My kids, like Cara’s, cannot handle junk due to a metabolic disorder. First we stopped attending church meals, though we really loved the fellowship, and then we cut back on attendance in the afterschool program, and I only volunteer for snacks when my kids are there. Other parents who watch what their kids eat, due to allergies or otherwise, tell me they miss my treats, but it is simply exhausting. It’s hard to change the world if you can’t find your keys, and all the demands were just too much. So, yes, like Hope, our church attendance is way down in large part due to food issues. We spend too much energy making sure our kids have safe healthy options day in and day out at school, sports, etc, that the almost contradictory culture at church it too much. It’s like in order to get kids to like church they feel they must give them lots of treats. It really feels like that, sometimes, though that whole idea is so contrary to the teachings. I love the comments about gluttony, though. I can only hope THAT concept starts to catch on in churches…
Matt I am going to make an assumption from your post and its wording… You do not have children of your own, or If you do, you are extraordinarily lucky (yes, luck) that they aren’t food reactive. If you had a child who could turn from a happy, compliant angel into a screaming, thrashing monster that cannot see reason within 10-15 minutes of eating a trigger food (preservative/additive or allergen), or 40-60 minutes after the sugar has been consumed & the blood sugar crash comes… And you wish to disown your child and never take them anywhere again (no exaggeration, I promise)… You would view this very differently.
As a parent in this situation, I would appreciate your effort, care and love for my child, but unless that love extends to caring for their wellbeing, it is insufficient.
Matt,
Poor Matt. You posted a patronizing little window into your world and are probably shocked that “the woman problem” has moved right through that window into your face. Well, at least you’re in good company. Every Prophet in the old testament railed against indifference and how those in power were more concerned with their own comfort level than doing God’s will. So You are right up there with every Pharisee and man of power that ever got a talking to!
If I came to your church and you served my child ANYTHING with HFCS, he would have a rash. After that, if he went in the sun he would get a sunburn. It’s very painful on top of a rash. So I should just take my child there anyway and teach him that Church is a painful experience? Or maybe I should follow him around warding off the danger? Oh I know! You want me to teach my child that he has to say no to everything so that your child and you can be more comfortable! How do you support that scripturally?
Every time I’ve had a real problem with this, it’s been a guy that is in charge of something at church and ISN’T the one with most of the child rearing duties. Whatever you are an expert in, congratulations. Now shut up and listen to the moms. Who are experts in kid raising and food, and an amazing number of other real life skills.
We went to healthier snacks a few years ago because 1) it’s a healthier message 2) the kids are MUCH better behaved when not loaded up with sugar and 3) many of our kids haven’t eaten. This year, we are in a bit of a budget crunch, so I put the healthy snacks on the SignUp Genius site, and the families pitch in for 12 of that Sunday’s item. I keep a cupboard of dry goods (granola, sunflower seeds, etc) to supplement or substitute if the SignUp list falls short or gets forgotten. This works well for us. :-)
This is great!
I have a friend, a pastor’s wife, who was trying to avoid sugar addiction with her family and didn’t give them candy. The whole church knew that, but some people felt that was too harsh and would give her children bags of candy! That was so disrespectful, though I’m sure the candy-givers didn’t think so. “We think you’re too strict; candy won’t hurt these kids, and we want to make them happy!” Of course, that made their mother very unhappy but what could she do? The pastor’s wife can’t throw a fit. She has to be cool, calm, and collected.
It is disrespectful! I think people just need a quick reality check- in no case is it okay to encourage children to disobey their parents over something like candy!
Brenda, the pastor’s wife CAN be assertive, gracious and honest in dealing with disrespectful people. Throwing up her hands in powerlessness isn’t helping anyone–herself, the children, or the disrespectful volunteers.
Becky, That totally depends on the church.
This is fantastic! When we had our special needs child, we went from well established in ministry, to church hopping and finding that no one was safe. Not one! The church can do better when it comes to food and toxins, and I firmly believe it is their job to.
My husband and I are concerned about this alarming trend, as well. We love our church even though it’s known as the donut church. I see chubby, hyper kids double fisting donuts every week. The $100 they spend weekly on donuts would buy a nice selection of fruit for a Sunday morning. We are praying on how to approach this situation Of excessive junk food at all levels of our church ministries. We have two young children we are raising on whole foods and they don’t need goldfish snack during a 1.5 hour service. And when they get older, they don’t need store bought cookies and ice cream bars during class. Thank you for voicing this concern in a logical, well-thought out blog.
For years our church was pumping kids full of Dunkin donuts before Sunday school and then wondering why they were all lined up to poop during junior church. I pointed out the ‘coincidence’ and they switched to Panera pastries, which include huge cookies and cinnamon buns. I gave up.
Your remarks are entirely sensible. So sad that you feel the need to defend against a charge of “persecution”! It’s crazy that church organizations would not simply receive your input gracefully. Glad you brought up this issue.
Thank you for articulating this so well! I agree 100% with your perspective. I have often felt so frustrated by this issue and I know many others do as well!
Additionally, if they (the Sunday school teachers and church leaders) feel the need to “control” children’s behavior with sugary rewards, what they really need is a parenting and discipline class, or at least some books. Rewards don’t work! Our VBS had dinner (it was in the evening) with a dessert, and then a snack less than 2 hours later, that was also sugary 2 of the 4 nights! We have a peanut allergy that they’re good about accommodating, but they still have so much sugar for 4- and 6-year-olds!
This is true, but I’d caution against saying that all children with behavior issues have parents who don’t read parenting books- there are tons of behavioral, developmental, and sensory issues in children right now that are disability issues, not a product of poor parenting.
YYYYYYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! I have a titled blog in the wings waiting to be typed up, addressing a very similar issue, and hitting on the subject of church and foods!!!!!! I just want to hit my head on the walls because this is the LAST place that gets it. Our current church finally started offering fruit (besides the crappy doughnuts). Boy, and not only foods, Cara – and I’m sure you know what I’m saying – but just how folks still “bow” to conventional medicine for everything… One step at a time.
Wow, having been a volunteer for over 10 years in various children’s ministries, I now realize the significance of concern regarding the “treats”. As a junk food junkie myself, I didn’t realize that so many parents silently felt this way, it saddens me and I hope the silence can now be broken. What an awesome opportunity to forward Cara’s comments along with all of the replies to the churches that all of you are choosing to limit your attendance but wish you could attend regularly. In addition, I would follow-up the email by attending a parent’s meeting and/or a private meeting with the pastoral staff to share that this is a concern of many that is easily addressed with the added bonus of potentially increasing church attendance, decreasing church expense, and most importantly encouraging “healthy” behaviors both spiritually and nutritionally.
The church staff and pastors are just as guilty in indulging. I’ve mentioned it several times in my church and it never stops. There are too many people in the church that volunteer for various functions and unless they are all of the same understanding, then the church lets them do as they wish.
Yes! Sharing on Facebook.
Our bodies are the vessel in which the Holy Spirit resides as well as the tool we use to spread His good news and serve with, so churches should be encouraging good stewardship of our bodies.
OH MY GOSH YES!!!! My son is on the autism spectrum. He also has ADD. Red food dye is in everything. We have had to go so far as to list it as al allergy so he doesn’t get to eat it. Red dye seems for what ever reason to cause behavior issues for those with ADD and ASD. the lovely older ladies at church just want to give them all treats (I have 4) all the time without thinking that maybe there is a reason mom said no or packed fruits and veggies instead of cookies and candy.
I am working in snacks for our VBS this year. The plan was to offer healthy snacks and the overwhelming response was got was “Our kids don’t want that, they want snocones!”. We tried. I also worked registration so I would advise parents daily of snacks so that if they wanted to provide healthier options I was more than happy to accommodate. Out of over 200 children, only 5 from 2 families, brought alternative snacks. We had prepared in advance gluten free, peanut free, dye free options. So please know there are churches that are trying, and some of us get hate for trying to be healthier.
I’ve been on this side too (pre-kids I volunteered quite a bit. Now it’s slowed down) – to me it’s the same as insisting that kids under the safe weight limit ride in a car seat or booster in my car. I’m not willing to hand anyone’s kid stuff that I know to be harmful to them. I guess these particular hissy fits (I got it too) didn’t really bother me all that much.
This is one of the most interesting articles I’ve read in a long time. Very worth writing. Very important issue. Eye opening to how it can add up to daily doses of unnecessary/harmful sugar! I applaud the seeming courage it took to grapple with this issue. In reading carefully, I believe you clearly are asking:”maje any food available but please don’t hand my child sugar every time you see him/her.” I used to run a daycamp for school age kids during summer. We totally had a candy shop and a toy store. The kids had to pay for any treats. So they had to get money from their folks. Also if it was before lunch they had to pick granola bar, fig newton or cereal bars, yogurt, etc. Anyway, I hope those who have disregarded your concerns will have the chance to read this and turn things around. Gotta love that Matt guy’s comment who suggested you volunteer at the daycamp while you’re at your job lol.
I’ve got 4 kids, 15, 13, 11, and 8. We’ve reared them to ask us before they eat any sweets. They obey, not because they are naturally compliant, fearful kids, but because we’ve trained them to listen. We have very little problems in this area because of that. We are in 30 to 40 churches a year (traveling family) and we have all kinds of people trying to be nice and giving them sweets all the time. We don’t blame the churches. We train our children. Respectfully disagree with you. :)
I guess we’ve had different experiences – I haven’t quite been able to do that with my kids, especially the one that has special needs or with mine when they’re under about 4-5 years old.
Thank you for saying this! I will be sharing in large FB groups and hope this will spread far and wide and that change will start to happen. I had to ask my kids’ AWANA teachers to stop feeding my kids because I’d pick them up and they would be acting all crazy. The teachers would make comments about the chaos in their behavior. When I told them it’s because the kids don’t get much sugar and that their reactions are a result of the sugary treats they received in AWANA, they were equal parts surprised and offended. A few weeks after the initial request, I picked them up to learn that my barely-4-year-old had been given two full-sized frosted sugar cookies PLUS 4 small ones. Dear Lord, I about fell out. We have since quit going to that AWANA program. Ugh – I really do hate the food issue.
The best way to help fix the situation is to donate your money, food and time. I know our church buys these as well as pretzels and similar food items for several reasons…1) economical 2) easy to give out individually 3)few parents, other than those already donating their time for YOUR children willing to help. Instead of complaining about the problem, be part of the solution.
We don’t know how much she already is volunteering, do we? Also, it’s going to be impossible for every mother commenting to be in charge of snacks for 2-3 age groups, Awanas/Bible study/preschool/summer camp. Many of my readers also have children with disabilities and other special needs, so we’re busier with more obligations than other families with only typically-developing children.
I don’t think it’s fair to judge the amount of time that “only typically-developing” families have. Some of those families have trials and time constraints that you can not understand. For example – single parents, both parents working, school, marital problems, caring for elderly oarents, depression, and countless other time constraints.
To say that you are busier is not true. I have found that life is a balance of sorts. When you are more involved with one aspect of your life other things take a back seat. We each have the struggle to find the right balance for each of us. A “typically-developing” family doesn’t have more of less time that others, it’s just used differently. And to expect them to constantly make allowances because they have more time is silly.
You talk of not expecting, but asking – yet you (and other readers too) will switch churches because of the food issue. That behavior is along the lines of expecting.
I agree 110% that there are problems with the quality of the food offered in many aspects of our children’s lives. I teach music to the children in our church and instead of treats and candy I chose to use pencils, stickers, notepads and other things that have a religious purpose.
Cara, I believe that your article may have come from a good place (wanting change for so many others that are struggling with the same issues) but one of my favorite sayings is: be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Instead of anger and hurt for others who do not understand the predicament, offer solutions and pro-active behavior. Volunteering is only one part of the solution. There are many others ways to help.
My frustration has never been with the parent who comes and talks to me about their child’s well-being. But rather with the parent who gathers a group of others and complain about people that are trying very hard to lead these sweet souls to Christ.
What you don’t see is the difficulty in corralling lots of little ones; trying to work with each individual personality to be engaged, to learn, and to feel. That in itself is a trying experience. And quite honestly, snack time is a time to get them to sit and be semi quiet.
My point is simply this – don’t assume to know what the youth leaders can and can not do. Talk to them in a spirit of love and help. Be part of the solution – bring fun little THINGS for them to hand out when needed. Ask them if they need help.
Because contrary to what you “think” my actions are saying; I love the children! I want what is best for them (even if I don’t understand it). Talk to individuals and move away from discussing this in group settings. If you MUST write an article, try to be more positive. Don’t attack what the church is, but encourage others to step up and make it stronger.
Just IMO.
This is probably the stupidies blog I have ever read!!! Its not like they are only feeding your children snacks or candy!!! Keep your kids at home if u don’t want them to have snacks or candy!!! Its your job as a parent to make sure they are getting the right foods at your house!! You can’t tell a church, school or wherever u send your child not to give them a snack or candy! Its not cool to watch a child just sit there BC there parent says they can’t have anything but fruit or veggies, when every other child is eating something else.. It makes that child feel left out, angry, confused and questions why they can’t when everyone else is!! Isn’t there something more important u could be blogging about
I’ve moderated (not published) quite a few comments like this – this is exactly parents are afraid to speak up. Nobody likes to be talked to like this, especially in a place where we are trying to teach our kids about God.
So you AGREE that it makes other children feel left out and angry and then don’t want to DO anything different?
YES! My boys (3 & 4) were given blue and green air heads in church on Sunday. (I don’t even have any idea where they got them.) Before I even knew they had them, they had torn them open and had them half gone. Try taking away candy from two boys who have already started on their “treats”. Yeah right. Well I know the effects food dyes have on my children and I don’t give them any, but holy cow, Sunday after church they were on their worst behavior. Ever. Also in Sunday School they’ve gotten cupcakes with bright blue frosting, kool-aid, oh and another culprit – Fruit Loops. All of which effects my boys tremendously. And we can’t let them get left out and be the only ones in their class without a cupcake. Good luck with that. At our church, the teachers are buying their own snacks and the children have learned that there will always be a snack.
Thank you for this.
This has been a concern of mine for several years. For a while I furnished snacks for our after school program In an effort to have healthier snacks, but I can no longer do that. Presently on Sunday morning Pop Tarts, doughnuts, and Capri Suns are provided because they are inexpensive and easy. Can you please give me ideas for simple, inexpensive, non-messy foods to provide instead?
Many of the children have not eaten before they arrive, and these foods are not eaten in a dining room or kitchen. Thank you for writing this!
How many kids do you have to deal with? You could provide them with yogurts or gogurts, cheese and crackers, celery with cream cheese, and a glass of milk or orange juice. I’m sorry people are sending children to church hungry. If this is a common occurrence, then maybe the leadership needs to address it to keep it from happening.
I also wanted to add that you can have apples, grapes and tangerines. Check about the apples though, because I have a friend at church who’s kids can’t have apples unless they’re cooked. So individual applesauce is a great option. There’s an enzyme in the apples that the kids are allergic to.
I can’t tell if the children that you are serving haven’t eaten and need a real meal, if so that’s a great opportunity for the church to fill a real need by providing a breakfast that consists of more than just sugar. Maybe eggs, bananas, oatmeal, peanut butter with toast, whole milk… And it can be a meal before service. Then they can start bible study or children’s church after that and you could come then?
I feel like it’s an excuse that ‘kids are hungry so we feed everyone’ – if you’re not feeding my kids (I always feed my kids before church) then you’ll have much more money saved from the Capri sun, cookies, and pop tarts that my kids didn’t eat and can use that for kids who are lacking nutrition from home for whatever reason.
Thank you Cara for writin this. It’s such a struggle for our famil too. A very sad and isolating struggle. Tears just streaming down my face reading these words and comments. I need and love my church and church family. But I can’t relax for a second while I am there because of the worries about the snacks and the food issues. We actually did the Daniel Plan as a church recently and I was so full of hope for change. And then everything went right back to junk food as soon as we finished. I send a separate snack and water for my daughter to Sunday school. I made gluten free and corn free play dough for her class. I even have special soap for her and homemade hand sanitizer. I volunteer in the nursery to protect my son. It’s exhausting. The Clorox bleach wipes, the scented hand sanitizer, the anti bacterial soap, the cookies, the cake, the goldfish, the candy, the sweets, the sugar …it hurts my kids and it breaks my heart. I feel like I have to choose between taking them to church (and church related activities) or protecting them.
I’m a mom with 4 kids, one has a sensitivity to corn, rice and soy products, another just to corn, I’m an AWANA leader also. Your right everywhere you go candy can be found. Our church has 2 candy themed nights one in the fall and one in the spring, they are clearly marked on a calendar sent home to all the parents.. Knowing this I have always sent in a bag of acceptable treats for my kids who can’t eat most candy this way they have something when the other kids do to. We also keep kids with braces in mind since they can’t eat a lot of things either. And like you said we do the allergy alert , so we have kids right now who can’t have apples another peanuts and another milk products. Their parents have joined those who donate the foods the kids get in preschool and toddler classes so they always have something they can eat also As you said it is the parents decision what their child can eat and as a person in charge of younger children I’m always grateful to know what I need to do to respect a parents wishes.. So Parents please inform those who take care of your kids what you want, I also encourage you to provide your child with a bag of acceptable food items to help these caretakers out. My son was 14 when he could take on some of the responsibility of checking the ingredients to see if he could have it or not ( he has a learning disability) his sister at 12 now checks everything in a wrapper before she eats it. One of the alternatives to outright candy is the brightly colored coated sunflower seeds that we have available maybe this would work in a church you know of.
Another reason to rejoice that our church doesn’t have a kitchen and we don’t serve food of any kind. There is a water fountain available if you are thirsty.
I struggle with this all the time. Fortunately in my younger daughter’s class at church, they do not serve snacks, but occasionally one of the volunteers will sneak in candy and pass it out. So far, they have not allowed the kids to eat it during class, so I have been able to get a hold of it before she eats it. They do have an allergy policy, and the overall leader sticks strictly to my daughter’s food restrictions whenever there is an event with food. My older daughter’s class, however, serves junk food at every function, and because the kids are older, they assume that they will take care of their own food “needs”. I have an even bigger problem at school, where administration does not want to get involved. They say it is up to the children to control themselves if there is a food allergy or sensitivity. There are always volunteers that believe candy equals fun. and a good time cannot be had without. At the gym (my kids are in gymnastics) they hand out popsicles after class, and some coaches hand out candy. They do honor my requests not to give candy or popsicles to my children. I just find it exhausting to have to inform people and make requests wherever we go, and to be considered strange for trying to keep my kids healthy. At preschool I requested that my daughter not be fed candy or school snacks. I sent all her food. The school called Child Protective Services because of her strange diet. At one point I took my adopted daughter to see an attachment therapist. After four sessions she told me that the problem was not attachment, but that I was too controlling about what my child could eat. Needless to say, I didn’t spend any more money paying for therapy. We seem to live in a junk food culture, and parents are seen as “mean” if they limit their children’s exposure to it.
I feel the same way friend. I’m so happy you spoke up. Keep on staying healthy and making good choices! They are your babies and God entrusted theM to you and you only! Xoxo
Thank you so much for this post. We have children with food intolerances. While not anaphylactic allergies, any ingested food from their avoid list makes them very ill and has lasted up to 3 weeks, along with causing a lot of behavioral issues for our son with autism. We have been struggling with the church issue for years. People do not take us seriously. We were at a church for five years, where they repeatedly gave my young children foods that we specifically told them they could not have. They even had stickers on their backs of their foods to avoid. After having to speak to the associate pastor several times trying to avoid future incidences, he “suggested” that we would be happier at another church that could better meet our needs. Yes, we were actually pushed out of the church over the junk food.
The church we are at now is nicer to us about it, but we still struggle weekly. There are many well-meaning elderly ladies with “Grandma Syndrome”. They just really feel the need to feed the kids candy and cookies constantly. At first they told us they do healthy snacks such as fruit, so we did not provide alternate snacks. Months later, we found out that most of the time they are bringing homemade cookies/bars and just not giving anything to our children. Our kids sat there for months after this started, watching all of the other children enjoying treats and being told they couldn’t have any. Sure they were keeping them safe by not giving them the foods they couldn’t have, but really?!? I was so sad for them when I found out. I don’t know why they didn’t tell me. We have provided our contact info to the teachers and asked that they let us know if they plan on bringing in a treat. They do not contact us, so now we just have to bring something with us every.single.week. We escort our kids to class and have to ask the teachers each time what they plan on feeding the kids for snack. I feel like they think I’m the food police. They feed the kids in Sunday School and again an hour later in Children’s Church. It’s just not necessary, in my opinion. Now that it’s summer, they sometimes give the kids sugary popsicles. It’s really hard to show up to church prepped with popsicles that my kids can eat. I just can’t keep up!!
Same for AWANA. Same for VBS – I spent half a day baking special things to try to come close to the over-the-top themed sugar and color-laden VBS treats that were served. We are hesitant to speak up any more than we have because of what happened at the last church. We don’t attend any pot lucks due to the food issue. It’s just too hard to have your child see all of this delicious looking food and have to constantly tell them no – I feel like it just breaks their little spirits and makes them feel very different from others. It can be very isolating for our family.
I have had people at the bank, post office, library, etc. ASK ME if they can offer my child a treat. Why do these people get it, but the people at church just don’t? I have to say we really feel like they just don’t care about our children’s health/safety. It is baffling that our Christian brothers and sisters profess to love/care for us, but don’t seem to show it to my children when food is the issue.
That’s my issue with it too – it’s almost always at church. No other oraganization with policies and people in authority thinks this is ok (and yes, at the bank they have a written policy about this! That’s why all the staff knows to ask!)
And if you bring it up to the right people at the bank/school/etc you aren’t going to be told to find a different bank.
Sorry you’ve had these experiences.
I feel like I relate very closely to A… sadly we have battled the Grandma Syndrome and people have not only gone around behind our backs and given the kids candy and things they were allergic to behind our backs (“Oh, it’s fine.”) but purposefully brought the treats that our kids were allergic to and passed them around while we were at the table. Almost nothing is worse than the feeling you have as a parent when people who say they love your children and even treat them as grandchildren disrespect the parent’s wishes over and over. It causes a confusion between the child and their parent because another adult is not agreeing with the parent. Shame on them! I really don’t think that is true love and care. It isn’t the type of “Christian love” I want to give to others. Then when those same people accuse you of not feeding your children and saying that their weight is below the regular BMI and you need to get their health checked out and turn around tell others at church it’s very discouraging! I don’t know how many Sundays I did not want to go to church because this was a problem. So many parents already question (even God) why their children are different because of their allergies and other dietary needs often with a variety of needs for each child. Church should be the place where you should have comfort and edification with other Christians while you come together to worship the Lord, not a snack bar. The only positive things I have found in these types of situations is resting in the fact that God does know all of our needs, hears our cries of complaint even about the person who did not truly love our children, and it makes us sensitive and more understanding of other families. It has created in our lives a way to minister with acceptance of another’s needs, no matter what our personal preferences may be. May we always be more conscious of teaching the Word more than preparing a snack and loving a person in the whole context of their being rather than words and fake love.
A friend posted your article on Facebook, where I followed the link and read it.
I want to suggest a piece to challenge you and your readers to consider this in the context of the church body:
https://dougwils.com/books/allergic-to-other-people.html
I understand your concerns, and as a pastor with a high concentration of people in their 50s and 60s volunteering in church ministry, I have seen similar things to what you describe, and heard similar complaints to what you are airing here. I’d like to ask you to consider these points.
1. Food is a common point of culture. We have had believers from a refugee group from Burma being assimilated into our church now for over 6 years. A common lament I hear from the mothers is their children don’t like to eat what they cook anymore, because their palates have grown accustomed to American food at school etc. Just remember, if you home educate, you are able to control your environment more than many in our society here–so what you see as being a primarily “church offense” is more just the reality of interaction with people. As your children get older, unless they continue to live off the land, “home college,” and never find employment in the public sector, they will inevitably encounter people who eat differently than you have taught them. It’s something they will have to learn to face, and not just at church.
2. People are trying to be kind. Yes, sometimes people overstep their bounds (like the people who gave the pastor’s kids candy that was mentioned in the comments). But the reality is that many of the people giving your kids candy grew up seeing that as a kind and thoughtful gesture, and have fond memories of people doing that with them. With that in mind,
3. Consider volunteering your time to model something different. If your schedule just won’t allow it…
4. Coach your kids like we do to keep what they’re given and not eat it right then. We accumulate a stockpile at home. We have legitimate special-needs kids (we have adopted a sibling group of three, and 2 out of the three have symptoms related to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), and though they struggle with different things cognitively and behaviorally, our children have grasped this practice and been able to carry it out.
If you are going against the flow of American food culture, you cannot expect your church (or your workplace, or the party for your children’s sports team, etc) to always and exhaustively conform to your practices and expectations. You just can’t. It would be like my refugees from Burma being upset because they can’t find roasted crickets on the shelves of our local grocery store (and yes, they do eat crickets and miss not being able to regularly find them here in the USA). However, reacting harshly to people who are only trying to be kind in the ways they know how teaches your children something far less desirable than whatever eating habits you are trying to establish with them. One of the evidences of fellowship in the early church in Acts is that the people ate together. One of the earliest evidences of disunity was over food (with the Greek widows being neglected). These matters will continue to be potential points of conflict between believers, but they shouldn’t be. We can change ourselves better than we can others. If you are stronger in this area of diet than others, learn what it takes to bear what you perceive to be the weakness of others, and train your family to as well. Don’t let your diet disrupt what really matters- the unity of the Lord’s church.
I think you missed the part where I said that the vast majority of the times that kids get handed food (not just food that is available- food that is directly handed to them) is in the religious setting. The church is the last to catch on, even the place where we get $7 haircuts (and it’s a chain- we’ve been to probably half a dozen) always asks me discreetly, without bringing it up to the children first. I believe that if the elderly women at the hair cutting place and the bank and the grocery store can learn to ask, I’m pretty sure the ladies at the church can too.
And it’s not all in our head, and bringing my child’s food over to another person’s house does not mean I am doing the devil’s work (re: the article you linked to).
That blog he posted is 6 years old. I think whoever wrote it is selfish and not understanding of the needs of other people. Most people that have allergies to certain food, and want to engage in fellowship, either bring their own food or eat at home before they go to events involving food. It’s hard to control the food that is coming into a church from all the hands providing it. At least at school you know it’s coming from the cafeteria or home and be controlled a little better. Kids that really suffer from life threatening allergies or get diarrhea from wheat and gluten if they have celiac, are more willing to accept the limitations they have because they know they could end up in the hospital and feel ‘crappy’. Kids that don’t really have specific food allergies are not willing to say no. The adults are the ones that have to make better choices so the kids don’t have to make the choice. The church will suffer if they continue with such practices because people will just say NO to coming to church. It’s a battle of the wills. The pastor doesn’t want to be the bad guy and set the rules down about food. There’s too many people to try to control. Too many ‘grannies’ that don’t get it. When my son was diagnosed with T1 diabetes, I went to the school and asked them to stop having all the birthday parties and unnecessary outside foods. It wasn’t that my son couldn’t have the foods, I just didn’t want him to have to have an extra shot of insulin to be able to eat the foods and to say no to him was just a torment. I told them that it wasn’t just about diabetes, but they had kids in the school with celiac (that they didn’t even know what it was), lactose intolerance, peanut allergies, ADD, ADHD, obesity, and other health problems that didn’t need all the sugar. The superintendent actually listened to me and got rid of all the sweets and parties. It still didn’t stop the librarian from giving out jolly ranchers for anyone that came in to help her put books back on the shelf. Unless you have a child with dietary restrictions, you’ll never understand the magnitude of what foods can and can not do for you. The parents have to be the vigilantes and be alert to all this over indulgence thrown at our kids and every person in this kind of environment. I posted this on my church’s facebook page, and it’s been seen by a lot of people, but not many have made many comments, including the pastor. I’ve had my opinions with him over the years and it pretty much falls on deaf ears.
Cara,
I’m not saying “it’s all in your head.” However, I will say that you are looking at church wrong when you compare it to a bank or a hair salon. Church is not a business offering you services. Think of it as more like an extended family gathering, or co-workers getting together socially, if that helps in this food setting.
I’m not trying to say that your concerns are not valid, or that the priorities you have established for your family aren’t appropriate. I am trying to say that you must realize that what you have established goes against the grain of American food culture, including (especially?) the food culture in American churches.
So, with that in mind, the burden is on you to manage your situation as a minority going against the status quo. You may have some influence on these things over time, but you aren’t going to completely reform things. Therefore, the answer is to establish habits in your children to manage the things they’re given, rather than expect people just to stop those things they have been conditioned to do over their entire lives. In churches, the commonality we are trying to develop does not center primarily around food–there is not one standard “Christian menu” that we must all conform to–so you have to expect to encounter challenges, and determine how you will manage them.
I would agree, BUT, there are usually people on salary, and other policies in place for the church, so it’s not completely an informal gathering. There usually are checking children in/out policies in the nursery and children’s church, policies for how communion is served, how many bulletins are printed, when announcements made, and so on.
This extends beyond church as well- faith-based activities that also have policies in place for other things seem to be ignoring ‘the food issue’ more than secular activities that are similar in nature (and cost). It’s to the point that I’ll choose to put my child in a secular day camp over a Christian one just so that I don’t have to battle the food issue. That’s sad, isn’t it?
I’m not expecting immediate change in the church (and I’ve found one that I like so it’s not even a present concern for me), I’m just oping to open the conversation so there is more awareness and we can be heard in full before we are cut off and dismissed.
“It’s to the point that I’ll choose to put my child in a secular day camp over a Christian one just so that I don’t have to battle the food issue. That’s sad, isn’t it?”
Cara, that does seem sad to me, but probably for a different reason than you. I’m interpreting your statement as “It’s sad that the ‘secular people’ are the only ones who share my priority on food.” I would say “It’s sad that Cara possibly thinks indoctrinating her children on what they eat physically is a bigger priority than what they are fed spiritually.” Now, not every ‘Christian’ environment is the same, I’ll grant you–some church camps don’t do much more content-wise than the local YMCA. However, as different as Christian people can be on things like food, appearance/dress, entertainment choices, politics, and so on…it would seem to me that I could live with a lot more variety in practice on what people eat or feed their families than I could how the Word of God is taught, understood, and lived.
If you take the time to establish yourselves and are slow to take offense in the process in a local church (especially one where you can know most people/families by name), people will usually come around, whether or not they agree with or adopt all of your conclusions. We have people in my church who have kids who have severe nut or chocolate allergies. The teachers have generally caught on and have alternatives if they indeed distribute food or candy. We have a coffee break with refreshments every Sunday between services. We still serve things like fresh-baked cinnamon rolls, but since I started serving here 8 years ago, we also see a selection of fresh fruit and vegetables on a weekly basis now, too–not because we implemented any policies, but because some concerned people not unlike yourself took the time to get involved in the provisions, and formed relationships with other people who grew to value them personally because they took the time to get to know each other. Now, it’s still not perfect for us… but that being said, we have the (informal) mechanisms in place where if concerns are raised, solutions can be reached without usually very much conflict developing.
With all that being said, American Christians could surely stand to learn better the practice of occasional fasting, as opposed to constant feasting and over-indulgence. We have over-employed performance-based awards (“say a verse, get a _______” kind of approach) rather than letting God’s truth bring us joy, satisfaction, and blessing apart from some kind of Pavlovian gratification. So, though perhaps for different reasons, I am not opposed to reducing, shall we say, appeals to our appetites in order to coax spiritual disciplines.
But again, change take time. It just pains me to think that this issue has become so important to some that unity on foods consumed take higher priority for some than doctrinal agreement.
Thanks for your reply :) Yes, I can stick it out, but if every time someone slips my child a sweet, thinking they are being funny/kind/helpful/fun she is in distress and pain for 3 days, because at her developmental level she is not able to tell the difference, it’s really not fair to her. I firmly believe that it’s okay for children’s church to be all about teaching about CHRIST and not about feeding the kids.
So by “Challenge” you mean, I’m going to encourage all you moms to shut up and not bother me with a need my church could be meeting, or at least talking about. Can’t this be part of the Safe Sanctuaries training that I’m sure you put your volunteers through after the background check? (If you’re not doing that, you just like the thought of getting sued when that one sex offender gets through?) And I’m so glad you referenced scripture! Because satan can do that too. And what about the long scriptural history of outsiders speaking truth to power? The fight in Acts was not just about the food. It was also who would be respected and listened too in the church. And would it really be so hard to fry up some crickets?
Lorinne, I’ve seen a few of your comments so far and I can’t understand why you are so angry at men and religion? You have taken a food issue and turned it into disdain for males and religious leaders as sex offenders.
Whatever concerns you have, please understand that there are many, MANY amazing men that lead their churches. That are fathers and husbands and wonderful men of God.
I was one of the teenagers/ young-adults who volunteered for VBS and multiple other youth group activities for 10+ years in my early teens and 20s, and I honestly had never even considered this to be an issue, probably because this was they way we were raised in the church and nobody ever raised this as a concern.
I think you’re so right to bring it up because looking back on it, the leaders planning the daily snacks for the week always tried to do something cutesy that related to the bible story of the day, but they were almost always something sugary and unhealthy because the majority of kids wouldn’t touch healthier options and would whine about being hungry for the remainder of the day. That reaction from kids adds fuel to the fire when anyone suggests healthier options because there’s always the argument, “but the kids won’t eat it.” If the expectation of healthy offerings is set by church leaders, children will eventually learn to eat these things because they aren’t going to receive candy or other unhealthy options due to whining about the fruit or veggies in front of them.
I think this would need to be addressed with higher authorities in addition to the volunteers at the church or camp because often the volunteers a) are just following directions from the organizers on what to provide and b) often don’t have children of our own that would prompt us to think about these concerns in the same way another parent might.
I love the thoughtfulness you put into this article and appreciate the way you brought this to light without being judge mental or condescending toward those of us who have helped with these activists for years and honestly just didn’t consider these situations from the perspective of parents like you! I will definitely suggest healthier options to other volunteers next time I’m in that situation!!
Yes! I have a son with Type 1 Diabetes and he has to take a shot of insulin for any junk food he eats. I so wish snacks wouldn’t be served – or healthier low sugar shacks would be purchased instead. I have actually skipped church before to avoid certain celebrations so we wouldn’t start off our Sunday with a super high blood glucose.
I am a nana and I totally agree. Since when does the church need to hand out all the junk food?
I am truly sad as to what has become with all the bad choices. Visit a children’s hospital and see what malnutrition is doing.
Too bad you want to find yet another angle to keep kids out of church. Just tell your kids not to eat them. Or put a tag on their clothes. Or, if you’re such a perfectionist, you obviously know every move they’re making, so just speak to the leaders. Don’t write an article to bash the church. Maybe your kids are hungry. Maybe you’re too controlling. I’m just sayin’.
Unsubscribing now.
I want to share this with the world. SO GOOD and sadly too true!!
So true!!!! I find this problem at more places than church; we are always having to step in and stop random people from giving our children garbage that we just don’t want them to eat—we know it doesn’t benefit them and hurts their health but people think it’s “fun” and that we are depriving them. I say yes, but I am deriving them of sugar crashes, melt downs and childhood obesity. Fun can be had without junk that causes cancer. People say, “it’s fine in moderation”—is smoking fine in moderation? We know how terrible it is for us now and I’m certain the additives in junk food we will look back on with horror of how bad they are for us. Everyone should just send their kids with their own snacks, then there are no issues! Or supply apples, bananas, etc. glad to see I’m not the only one! This is an issue that exceeds the church for sure!